A creature in me!

I can remember every detail. From the night of non-stop tears running down my cheeks to the joyful mornings at school campus. It was all a roller coaster. Ups and Downs came to me like rain, being a weary and fatiguing job to be "strong" and stand firm.

I have known this little guy since the second I could breath in my mothers womb. His always been active and strong in his way of being. His been with me, in every step of the way. I hear its steadiness all the time, and I hear people talking about taking care of him and to never let him be hurt.

But it is always too much. He knows everything and he hurting right there with me. It is hard for him to let go of things that I let him know of or things he figures out. He lets me know things I don't know and protects me from what I shouldn't know. He has been faithful all these years, but I have hurt him with all my debts and fears. Everything I have done is a lot for him to handle. He suffered with need of love, happiness, and specially real people around him, but he searched so much that he got tired of looking for those things and never finding them. He tried looking for others things that didn't work as he wished they had. He tried earning grace from many and acceptance, needing that "true love," but he never got to what he was looking for. He felt devastated and so did I. I didn't know what to do anymore. He was heavy on me and I didn't care about him anymore.

I was lost and so was he until I realized the reason of us being together. We are suppose to be a team. It was then when I understood we are the ones that have to work together to cheer us up. We have nothing else to depend on but each other, and our "true love" for each other. We know we won't let each other down for he is inside of me, my heart. He might not be a real guy or not a real creature, but I make him real. I am the one to make him be sensitive or filled with grudge. It is up to him wether I am alive and here for him to make who he is. I have known this little guy since the second I could breath in my mothers womb.